• Ryan Tippett

Diving Into the DMs: A Blog Completely Exposing Myself

Alright before you sit over there and judge me for swan diving into the direct messages of 18 year olds, ask yourself. Do you want to go to the moon? Do you want to be great? If the answer is yes, than you would see no issue with a 27 year old “man” grasping at straws trying to get – in some cases – notable people with some pull in the world to hop on our podcast. Is it cringy? Yes. Is it desperate? Of course. Is it successful? It appears the answer to that is a resounding no. To be fair, I went fishing for some pretty big fish here. I was in the Atlantic with a Walmart fishing rod. I was destined for failure. Let me give you a play by play with each Mutombo rejection.

Alright starting out nice and easy. Taking her for a test ride, see how bumpy the journey may be. Darryl Morsell who I very obviously thought was my guy, it appears that belief is completely unfounded. I even tried to throw a bone out there and say I was a season ticket holder, which is *technically* true even if my dad paid for everything. The optimism is still there after striking out in my first at bat even if it was against a double a prospect.

Alright so a slight step up in the Instagram game. I’ll be honest, I really thought E was gonna respond. He already previously acknowledged one of our prior videos and Josh swore on his puppy he followed the page at one point. And people don’t just swear on their dogs, like that’s not a normal thing. Maybe a tad aggressive with the exclamation marks, but we’re just high on life.

You’ll begin to notice a theme here. For whatever reason I thought STEPPING UP would only improve my chances of a response. In what world guy. How does that even logically make sense. Not sure what I was thinking but you can clearly tell I get straight to the point. No bs’ing around anymore. Strictly business. To no avail. It appears Luther Muhammed indeed does NOT want to bust some balls and have a fun conversation. Looks like I’ll piss off now.

Mac McClung come on down! I very obviously thought this could result in a success story. Underdogs do happen, and that’s what I am. I am Rocky Balboa. I am facing the tall task of defeating my Ivan Drago which appears to be getting ONE noteworthy person on our podcast. Rounds 1-11 didn’t go my way. We’ll keep plugging away.

Andddddd for the main event. Flopped so hard. Did I keep going to the well on the college chicks bit? Yeah I did. Did it work? No. It did not. So we’ll have to concoct something a little more original. I do think Kevin read this only because of the fact that he’s literally created burner accounts on twitter @ing random trolls.

The worst part is, this isn’t even all of them. I literally got swerved by a WALK ON. Wait, that’s not even the worst part. I’ve even exchanged previous messages with this SAME guy. I’m clearly going to need to rethink the strategy on this one. Maybe I’ll change my profile picture to a smokeshow since apparently that’s the only path to get a response out of these dudes. You can’t knock the hustle though. The funniest part might be, I said to Josh “nobody’s ever going to know so who cares” and here I am completely exposing myself. What a world.