Why EVERYONE Hates The Blue Bloods
Well for one, who exactly is a blue blood? The easy answers are: North Carolina, Dook, Kansas, and Kentucky. Past that? The water gets murky. I have to believe UCLA is a blue blood, they’ve won 11 national titles and have gone to 13 championship games. End of discussion. UCONN? I don’t think so, previous to Jim Calhoun they had only gone to a dozen tournaments. Indiana is probably on the no list for me too. So that’s the list: UNC, Dook, Kansas, UK and UCLA. Now I can explain why we all hate them with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.
Since the year 2000 these teams have combined to win 8 nationals championships and appeared in 13 total - or in dumber terms - 65% of the time you’re seeing the teams you loathe the most in your favorite game of the year. Let me paint a more clear picture: 2 out of every 3 championship games you’re already going into it angry and annoyed. Your wife asks: "What the hell is your problem?", well "Honey" my problem is - apart from the screaming toddlers and scattered legos all throughout the house that I very conveniently stomp on - the best game of the year is already ruined before it has begun. Sit there and think about the Butler vs Dook championship game in 2010. Personally, my thought process before tip was: "Dook is about to win it's 4th title, forcing me to chug bleach for the rest of the afternoon resulting in my untimely death at the hands of none other than college basketballs version of Ted Cruz" It's ok to admit you had similar thoughts.
Not only do these teams somehow inevitably find a way to the championship game but they also bring a bunch of dick riders with them. Dook is a small private school with a total enrollment of 16,000 scumbags - numbers approximate. SOMEHOW they have 2.2 million twitter followers, 1.3 million instagram followers but only 360,000 followers on Facebook, which my working theory is because most of their fanbase is made up of a bunch of illiterate morons in the 12-22 age group. (This has completely turned into a blue devil hate blog and I'm completely fine with that). How many times have you found yourself in the middle of a low blow argument with some random internet troll that lives in Bizmarck, North Dakota but claims to be a diehard, rockchalk Jayhawk? Personally, I've had that very same conversation many a time over. I can't tell you how many people over the years that have absolutely no affiliation with the school but claim to be A1s since day 1. I smell a bunch of cow dung. I'm of the opinion that if you've never seen a live game on campus, you are in fact a complete fraud. End of discussion. If you find yourself hurt over this blog, I recommend taking a deep, deep look at the man in the mirror.
This was a good vent sess for me, relatively therapeutic. Maybe I should do it more often.
One last jab, suck it little Chad. He's probably somehow a fan of the Cowboys, Lakers, Yankees and Penguins. Probably wears chubbies and a visor to a dage. Definitely vapes, lock of the century he vapes. I vividly remember watching this and smiling like an evil genius who just concocted their best new plan.